Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
