i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
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Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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