she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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