it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
