My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
