ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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