You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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