he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
