he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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