With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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