i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Houston, we have a squirter
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think people are normalizing furries
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
