its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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