I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
