it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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