Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize