dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I supernannyed him into submission
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
