What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
