i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
