1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
