Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
