Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
