I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
even my farts smell like vagina
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
