Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
