to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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