It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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