): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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