Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
