everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
