I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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