You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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