Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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