I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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