the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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