Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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