Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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