my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
