shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
