FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
