Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
