Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
