haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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