Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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