that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Its about making memories worth repressing
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize