you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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