I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
