would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
