So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.