i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila