Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.