covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.