someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
