I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
