it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
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Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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