i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
