she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
