Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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