I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
