just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize