I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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