not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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