wanna go halves on a baby?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
