i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
