like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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