Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
