Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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