honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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