now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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