If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Found your dick twin last night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
