I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
